Everything is always changing. Nothing is ever permanent, including the effort someone makes for you. Growing up, I’ve never realised this, I’ve never realised that the effort people make for you will slowly decline. I guess, I did not socialise enough to see everything. But, that’s life, you will notice and learn many more things as time passes by. Nothing is ever the same every day. Some people change, you might be important to them today, but the next day you are the worthless one. That’s what it is, people change just like seasons.

And if we were to talk about how people change, this can be a lengthy discussion. I just want to narrow it down to a particular situation; their effort. In some cases, I would say effort is the best indicator of interest. I don’t want to narrow this down anymore. If it’s getting more specific, this is just a confession, no longer a life update. 

I know in certain circumstances, I just keep comparing their effort to mine. Like if I can go until this extend, why can’t you? I hate it, I hate myself when I keep on making this comparison. I feel like, I am getting toxic. Have you heard about how toxic people will pollute everything around them? If I keep on comparing, I think I am in that position, I am polluting it actually, am i? But, I can’t help myself from getting sad. Whenever I realise that their effort has declined, I am so disappointed, I am terribly sad. It is like, you planted me thousand of seeds, but you make no effort to water and grow them. And I hate the fact that, people change but memories don’t. 

I wanted everything to stay the same, but I can’t change people. No matter how hard I tried. Even if I am getting sad, but there’s nothing can be done, right? They change by choice, and so do I, I have choices too. Except that, I don’t want to choose either one, I just want to stay here.